Please don't say that.

At the risk of sounding overly sensitive, I am going to vent for a bit. 

People make a lot of assumptions about the autism community. One of those assumptions is that kids with autism are particularly gifted. Geniuses even. What's actually true is that this is only the case for about half of the autism population.  

Today I was talking to an acquaintance and mentioned that Eli had been diagnosed with autism since we'd last spoken. This person replied with, "oh! I bet he's really smart, huh?" 

Friends, please file this under "things not to say." I realize that she meant nothing by it.  It was likely the first thing she thought to say. And I'm certainly not holding a grudge. However, I would love for this to be a teaching point. 

So here's what you should remember: if you wouldn't say it to a typically-developing child, then don't say it to or about a child with special needs. It's offensive. 

Eli may be gifted as he grows up. Or he may not be. But right now, he's FIVE. You don't walk up to other five year olds and ask if they're gifted in the areas of music or sports or fact retention. You talk to 5 year olds about what they like to do, who their friends are, etc. Do the same for any child with special needs. 

But what if the child can't answer? It's really okay. If you ask Eli who his friends are, he may not give you an age-appropriate response. That's okay. I'll appreciate that you treated him like you would any other child.  If in 15-20 years he shows a real gift in any one area, we'll be excited to tell you about it. In the meantime, the fewer assumptions you make, the better. 

I hope this post doesn't come across that I'm irritated. I'm not. Just a general PSA. :)