What kind of title can I really give this story?

We all have moments that we wish we could go back and do over. To say that I wish I could go back and redo Friday morning is the understatement of my lifetime.

I had agreed to help out with some childcare for a couple of hours at our church Friday morning. To be honest, I was doing it out of completely selfish reasons. Eli has been having a hard time being left in the nursery on Sunday mornings and I was hoping that a couple of hours of playtime with me in the room would help ease his mind. So we took Eva to school Friday morning and ran home so I could feed Isaac and then we hopped back in the car and went to church.

About an hour later, I realized that it was probably about time for diaper changes. I started with Eli, changed his diaper, put him down and grabbed Isaac. Eli stayed right by my feet and started playing with a toy. Another little boy who was about Eli's age toddled over and wanted to play with the same toy. I had just attached Isaac's clean diaper when I noticed that Eli was about to hit the other little boy.

And I reacted. I didn't think. I just reacted. I did not think!!!

I reached down to grab Eli's hand and to tell him not to hit. And when I turned back around, Isaac was on the ground. He had fallen about 3 feet and landed essentially on concrete covered by thin carpet. (It makes my stomach hurt just to write that.) He landed flat on his back. I scooped him up as he started to cry and just held him to my chest. I could tell, though that his cry was unlike his normal cry. I was shaking and didn't know what to do.

Then someone said he was bleeding. I pulled my hand back from his head and it was covered in blood. Then I really freaked out. I was shaking so bad that I couldn't dial my phone. The preschool director came down and said he would take us to the hospital. His wife said she would take care of Eli. I tried to call Ryan twice and finally sent him a text message telling him to meet me at the hospital asap.

We got to the hospital and of course they made us wait. Isaac was just lethargic and then he vomited. And still we waited. To say we were furious would be an understatement. Honestly, I think I was in shock. I just kept rocking him.

We finally got back to see the doctor, who was really nice and we felt like he better understood the intensity of Isaac's situation. After observing Isaac, he quickly ordered a CT scan, which came back showing that Isaac had a small skull fracture. By the time they came to tell me that, they had already started the transport process to get him to Children's Mercy Hospital in downtown Kansas City. They glued up his head wound and within minutes the transport team was there. They had decided to take him by helicopter because they didn't want to risk getting stuck in traffic on a Friday afternoon.

Watching them put him on the stretcher and take my baby boy away to the helicopter where I couldn't go, was by far the worst feeling I have ever had as a mom. I completely lost it. I felt completely out of control. As Ryan and I stood there and cried, the ER doctor came over and put his hand on my shoulder and said, "You did NOTHING wrong. He is going to be okay. You didn't do anything wrong." He will never know how much that meant to me.

During all of this chaos, one of my friends who just could not be more precious, came to pick Eli up and said she would go get Eva from school. One of life's greatest blessings is to have friends who are more like family. It was such a great feeling to know that we didn't even have to worry about our other two kids.

We left the hospital to go to the children's hospital and were both starving and dying of thirst. Not knowing what the rest of the night would hold, we decided to grab something to eat in the car on the way. As we were sitting in the drive-through at Chick-fil-a, we saw the helicopter fly over, carrying our son. Such a weird feeling.

We made it to the hospital in like 20 minutes and found our way back to where Isaac was. He was all hooked up to monitors, but was being rocked by a very sweet nurse. When Isaac saw us, he turned and smiled and tried to wave. It was such a great feeling. We joked that his helicopter ride perked him up a little. They were also dipping his paci in sugar water, too, which probably helped. :) For the first time all day he was finally acting like he wanted to eat... but they wouldn't let me yet. It was awful. They just needed to monitor him and get clearance from the neurologist that Isaac could eat. (They were being cautious on the off chance that he would need surgery.) I was finally able to feed him and he started to act more and more like himself, just still tired and in obvious pain at certain times. The decision was made to keep us overnight so that they could continue to monitor him. We didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but we didn't care. Isaac only wanted his mommy, so with the exception of about an hour when Ryan got him to sleep on his chest and a few trips to the bathroom, I held that little boy all night long. Wouldn't have had it any other way. I just kept thanking Jesus all night long that Isaac was okay.

His official diagnosis was skull fracture with a concussion. He is still very tired and a little weak. He is having a hard time pulling up to standing, which he had mastered. The doctors said to not be worried about any of that right now, unless he began to regress. So far, he seems to be doing as well as could be expected.

So many of you were praying for us through this and I cannot say thank you enough. Jesus heard every prayer and Ryan and I felt every prayer. We give God all praise and honor for protecting our little guy.

Saturday morning we waited to get clearance from the neurologist to head home and Ryan's parents (who drove in from Tulsa to help out) called to tell us that Eli woke up with a fever of 103. When it rains it pours, right? Eli is fine now. Just ran fever all day yesterday, so weird. Thankfully he has bounced right back.

On top of all of that, I broke my little toe about 10 minutes before Isaac fell on Friday morning. I was going to fast and kicked a table leg. I felt it crack. I'm just so graceful. That has put a damper on my running for now, but hopefully I will heal quickly.

If anyone needs us, Isaac and I will be in a padded room for the next few weeks.