I'll be completely honest, because I've already been completely honest with the Lord and he knows me very well, but I get a little mad when I hear that question in my head/heart. I keep telling him that he is asking too much of me to be content in this little apartment that smells funny and is cold. I keep saying, "Lord, I don't know if I can be content here." I know his Word tells me that I'm supposed to be content and be joyful, but I've been really struggling with that one. There are all sorts of reasons that I keep giving Him of why contentment is just too much to ask right now.
And then I went to church yesterday. Our pastor spoke on contentment! Go figure. But the Lord really used some of the scripture from yesterday to really soften my heart to making an effort to be content.
"...I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ... And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4: 12-13, 19)
Contentment is learned. It's not going to come naturally for me. And I really can do this in the strength of Christ. So today I'm making a conscious effort to be content. Of course, I know I'll be tested beyond belief in this new endeavor. I mean, I know ahead of time that this week is going to be really cold with lots of snow. That'll be hard for me to be content. (I think I may have mentioned once or a hundred times how much I hate cold weather.) :)
There's a song that Ryan and I have been listening to a lot lately, that we heard at church for the first time a few weeks ago. The chorus really spoke to us and is probably what began this conviction on contentment. It goes like this:
"Open up the sky, fall down like rain
We don't want blessing, we want you.
Open up the sky, fall down like fire
We don't want anything but You."
It reminded us of how much our prayers have focused on asking the Lord to bless us in the last few months. But maybe, have we forgotten to pray for more Jesus in the process? Have we forgotten to pray that He would use this time to change us into a clearer likeness of himself? I think we had. It's really, really hard to not spend most of our prayer time asking God to bless us with tangible blessings. But it's something we're trying to do and are learning a lot in the process.
Anyway, that's just a little bit of what I've been learning lately. Conviction always stings a little to begin with, but it sure does feel better in the long run.
(I still didn't get any pictures of my belly or our car this weekend. Sorry! I really will do it soon!)
4 comments:
I struggle with the same thing..thank you for sharing that verse...
Contentment is soooo hard to learn in my opinion. I've struggled with it for years, and just when I think it is getting better, I find out that I'm right back at being discontent again. Praying for you as you figure out what being contect is like, even in the midst of ice and snow!
Wow, this is something I can sure relate to also. You summed it up so well, and the scripture you included really ties it all together. Praying for God to reveal his destination for your family.
Thanks for sharing, Haley! This is a great word... I definitely needed to hear... Isn't it funny how different people, who are at different stages in life, and have way different circumstances can still be impacted by the same message... in different ways?!?! ha.. that was confusing, but I think you get what i'm saying! Still praying for you guys. I love you and miss you very much! =)
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