This post will be a little glum... just warning you. I feel like overnight my sweet little girl has turned into a two-year old monster. Okay, monster is a little strong. But, some days, I get really frustrated. Today was one of those days. I think that on the days she goes to Mother's Day Out, she just doesn't get a good nap and therefore the behavior is affected in a bad way. This afternoon, she cried a lot and was extremely defiant. She even bit me when I took something away from her. It kills me! This is just another reason that I wish I could be at home with her. Not that I'm naive enough to think that she wouldn't enter a "terrible two" phase if I was at home with her, but it is really difficult to have the energy to deal with her tantrums when I've expended so much energy at work all day. I also think that if her schedule were a little more set, she wouldn't have the sleepy-induced bad behavior. I think I reacted a couple of times today out of anger and frustration, rather than out of love and wanting what's best for her. Being bitten tends to alter your reasoning abilities. :)
I know I"m going to spend most of the next 2 years on my knees asking God for the wisdom, patience, and love to know how to deal with this child. Just another time in my life since becoming a parent that I'm understanding a little more about my Heavenly Father. His love for me is perfect and I know it breaks his heart when I look at him defiantly and say, "No!". As I said yesterday, my perspective on a lot of things has changed.
2 comments:
Oh man, totally relate. It's hard to react in anger instead of love, esp. when you know that's not what you want to do at all. It's flesh reacting to their flesh. Believe me, I have experience in this unfortunately. :-) Every parent does though. Not doing that should always be our goal and desire...and should be the norm (as I know it is with you). But, when it does happen, I just have to remember to ask forgiveness of them and God, forgive myself, and move on. For me, it's easy to beat myself up about it. I'm actually reading a book that just talked about this sort of thing. It's called "Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit" although it could be called "Parenting with a Meek and Quiet Spirit." Really good book. Anyhoo, just wanted to say that I totally relate. Jesus help us all. :-) And still praying that you can stay home with her...I agree that things would probably be more consistent. Praying too that until the time you are able to do that, God will just bridge the gap in that area.
Thanks Michawn. It does help to know that I'm not the only one dealing with behavior. And thanks for praying for us. You're so sweet!
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